se nos quedó bajo la hierba

Arlington, May 23, 2006


Walk softly on the grass, Alex lies below it
and sleeps to the murmur of plants and springs

On his face, the magic was in his eyes,
the blue of a dawning day

There was no greater sweetness than on his countenance
nor more candor than in his laughter

His uniform, his flag-draped coffin, his still-adolescent profile
remind us that the fall of just one strong tree
can bring about the end of even the spring

His tomb is ours
in our pained silence it opens to take our hearts with him
and still more earth will be needed for burying…

Maita Arnoldson

- - - - - -

Arlington, 23 de mayo del 2006

Andemos lentamente
alrededor del césped
Alex se nos quedó bajo la hierba
y oye el rumor de plantas y de fuentes.

En su cara, al recuerdo,
el encanto mayor eran sus ojos
con un azul
del día que comienza.

Recuerden que no había
tanta dulzura como en su mirada
ni más franqueza
que cuando reía.

Su traje de soldado
su ataúd con banderas
su perfil todavía adolescente
nos dicen que con sólo un árbol fuerte
puede morir también la primavera.

Y es que su tumba es nuestra;
ante nuestro silencio con qué dolor se abría
pues nuestros corazones lo acompañan
y habrá que echar más tierra todavía

Maita Arnoldson

A new tree in Landstuhl

I will forever remember all the stories you and Gildita shared with me through those long days and nights. The eight year old boy who spent his entire allowance to purchase his mom diamond earrings or the man who chased his love up and down the Eastern Sea Board until he finally won her heart. I will always remember the wedding pictures with him standing proud with you, Gildita and Fulvio and the piece of heaven on his face when standing next to Gildita at the Washington Monument. You raised a loving, strong and courageous son.

Last week we planted the Remembrance Tree dedicated to all those soldiers who paid the ultimate sacrifice. The tree was planted in memory of five soldiers. Alex, Cory, William, Brandon and Shane. Although Cory and William passed shortly after leaving Landstuhl, they were Alex’s battle buddies. As my father eloquently says: “Never ask a soldier if yes or no would turn the tide. A soldier only worries about the soldiers by his side.” I thought it fitting that they all be remembered together. I also thought of Brandon Teeters family and the strength and bond both families shared under the worst of circumstances. The day Brandon’s dad took off the cross he had been wearing continually since his arrival here and gently placed it around your neck to comfort you will forever touch my heart. Brandon passed two days after Alex and Shane passed a couple of days after Brandon.

Over eighteen staff helped plant the Remembrance Tree. Many more wanted to help but planes were landing and busses arriving at the same time. On the day we put the tree in the ground it began raining as if God himself was sharing in our tears. At the end I gave the tree a kiss for you and told it to grow strong in the image of Alex and the four others we lost. My hope is that as it is growing tall and strong, many other families will be able to take temporary refugee from their pain under its loving branches.

Rose

My friend Alex

Hello Everyone,

I’m shocked to be standing here, speaking these words today because they just don’t seem right. Trying to think of what to say about such a loss seems impossible to me. What I say can’t possibly encompass what I’m feeling, who Alex is, or how unbearable his passing is. I can’t believe he’s gone because he’s in my heart, in my mind, and in all of you here today; and he’ll never leave and he’ll always be there when you look for him.

I’ve missed him before and I miss him now, and I will miss him in the future. I keep thinking I am in a terrible nightmare, and that I’m going to wake up. I think that I must be mistaken, and that I need only wait for him to return. Being gone, beyond my reach, beyond my help, and beyond life; I feel powerless and insignificant and like I’ve let him down. Why wasn’t I with him? why couldn’t I protect him? why wasn’t I there when he needed me? If there was anything I could have done, and I didn’t do, I am sorry. I would do anything to have him back, standing beside me.

Unfortunately there’s nothing I can do about that, it’s not my decision and it’s not within my power. I simply have to live with the fate that has been dealt. I’m not sure that there was a reason for this to happen, but I want to believe it is part of a greater plan, the wisdom of which I may never fully understand. What I do know, however, is how wonderful Alex is, and how much I appreciate all the time I was granted with him. If he was not my best, then he was one of my closest friends. I’m sure that Greg and Fernando understand what I mean.

We found great comfort in each other’s company. We weren’t always happy with each other, but we always ended up back together hanging out, having fun, and enjoying ourselves. I can’t believe that our group won’t ever be full again; I can’t believe that we’ll get together again and one us won’t be there.

I’m not sure who else would claim Alex as a best friend, but I’m sure there are many people, who could. That’s because of who he is, because of what kind of a person he is; it’s the reason so many people feel such a great loss.

Even though I felt like family, I can’t begin to express the bonds that tied him to them. I know how much pain they must be feeling. I hope that they will heal because I know that Alex wouldn’t want them to hurt. I hope that I will be able to help Alex by helping them, when they need me.

What made Alex so special? Why does his passing hurt so much? Was he an amazing athlete? Was he a brilliant scientist? Was he destined to be the President of America? No. He was just a “great kid”, as another friend of mine said. He was nice, understanding, and sincere. He didn’t talk all the time, and he listened to other people. He reserved judgment and wasn’t rude to people he didn’t know. He gave you a chance instead of branding you from afar. He was happy and not too serious, and he knew how to enjoy life. He had a great deal of wisdom in regard to what was important. He didn’t want wealth, power, and prestige; he wanted to relax with his friends and family and enjoy the time he had.

I didn’t mean to suggest that he didn’t have ambition, but rather that his ambition led him down a more nontraditional route. Joining the marine Corps was a major accomplishment for Alex. I know it made him and me proud. It wasn’t the kind of thing that just anyone could do. Later when he went through all of the training to become a Recon Marine, I understood what an incredibly high hurdle he had leapt over. He put those challenges in front of himself and he met them head on. I was very happy to see him meet his goals and not quit. I was very impressed by his accomplishments.

While achieving those goals, I know that he was also aiming to succeed in another way. He had told me a long time ago, that he had met a girl that he thought he would marry. Although I couldn’t be there to see it, I was very happy to hear that he was finally able to marry ”Gilly”. That was maybe the smartest goal he set for himself. I know it was a dream come true for both of them, and I’m glad that they were blessed to meet each other and be together as husband and wife.

He certainly didn’t want to leave her to go back to Iraq, but he also wasn’t the type of person to back out of a commitment. He knew his duty and he didn’t complain about it. He knew what could happen, but he didn’t run from it. I told him not to be brave, but I know he was. Instead of being weak and trying to find a way to get out of his commitment early, so that he could begin to fulfill a dream of settling down and starting a family, he diligently prepared for his 2nd tour in Iraq. I didn’t want him to go back there, but I knew that he would be strong.

Alex was a great friend, and I’m going to miss him greatly as I’m sure all of you will. He was taken way too early at the age of 28, but he had accomplished, seen, and experienced a lot more than many people ever will. I wish he could come back, but I know I will meet him again, when my journey comes to an end. He will live on through all of us, and I like to believe that he’s moved on to some new adventures, and that he will be looking in on us from time to time. I’ll be very glad to meet up with him, when it’s my turn, and continue where we left off, sitting around and enjoying each other’s company.

Andrew Huff
23 May 2006
Washington National Cahedral

Good Bye Carbo

SSgt. Gero used to say "there is the right way, the wrong way, and Carbo's way." Alex definitely had a unique way of getting things done.

He was never loud or wanting to be the center of attention. It was not his words but his actions that defined Alex. His dedication was unparalleled and it radiated tremendously as a Recon Marine.

However, what set Alex apart was his unselfish devotion. As an NCO, he was not only there with me, but he was there for me. Through the good and the bad, the thick and the thin, he was there. Alex stood with me, shoulder to shoulder, as a Marine, an NCO, and most importantly, as a true friend.

Mr. and Mrs. Carbonaro, in your eyes Alex may have been an only child, but through your eyes you may not have seen how good of a brother he was of mine.

Gilda, I've never seen Alex smile the way he smiled when he was with you.

My father once told me "sometimes we say the least to those who mean the most, though our thoughts, which are often unexpressed, are understood."

I don't remember the last time that I told Alex that loved him, or even if I have ever told him at all. I had said so little to someone that had meant so much to me. But it's understood, and I know he understands. I love you Carbo, and I miss you.


Jeff Corwon
23 May 2006
Washington National Cathedral

in loving memory of a great friend.

En sus caras se ve el tierno amor sincero
que delataba en ellos un suave fuego ardiente.
El delicado gesto de sus cuerpos,
la mirada infinita entre ellos no vislumbraba
el corto futuro que esperaba.
Como un puño en el pecho el dolor se apoderó de mi
cuando la guerra, implacable, robó por siempre mi amigo.
La encarnación del amor eterno se convertía rápidamente
en una versión distorsionada de una canción distante.
De momento apagaron la luz y no supimos a donde correr,
que hacer cuando sobrecogía el vació.
Pero ese momento captado en fotografía
aun vibra a través del papel.
El suave destello del amor sagrado es eterno.
Pues lo que una vez fue oscuro,
brillará con la mas radiante luz.
Y el amor que de allí se siente es del bueno,
es del que salva.


Aida Hernández Balzac
25-05-06

Weep for me

Mom, Dad weep for me
For the drooping bouquet of buttercups I brought you when I was little,
For the times I sought comfort in your arms when I was scared,
For the perfect throw to first base,
For the dropped infield fly.

I know that my mother turned to my father in the night,
Saying please dont let anything happen to my little boy.
I know that my father made pledges he knew he had no way to keep.
I knew their love, every day of my life.

My darling wife, weep for me,
For I knew your love.
It was always you with whom I wanted eternity,
With whom I wanted children of our own,
Wiping noses, carrying them on my shoulders when they are tired.

Marines with whom I shared danger, hardship and mirth,
I thank you for your friendship, for your help.
I tried my best to keep you safe, so that you might go home whole.
I love others who have always loved me,
But none more than you, my brothers.

My countrymen, my fellow Americans, I freely chose to serve you in this way.
I was proud to serve, glad to wear the uniform.
Did I die for anyone's freedom, in the defense of my country and loved ones?
Ask yourselves when you look into the faces of those I loved.
Go and act as their eyes tell you.

I am part of you, from you, of you.
Am, not was, for I live in you.

Doug Nelson - 10 May 2006

to gilly from afar

dear little star
how I miss having you near me
And though your light shines on me from afar
I have to continue on and appreciate
your warmth from accross the cosmos
dear little shining star
at the end of the day
I look at you and my emotions just flow from me
and all I feel is your warmth.

One day things will be different for you and I
my little precious star.
but until then
I must be content to take you in from afar

Alessandro Carbonaro
Spring 2004

15 May 2006

A poem contributed by Guillermo Balve


“I’ll lend you for a little while, a child of mine,” He said, for you to love while he lives, and mourn when he is gone.

It may be six or seven years, or eighteen or twenty five, But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for Me?

He’ll bring his charms to gladden you, and shall his stay be brief, You’ll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay, as all from earth return, But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn.

I’ve looked the wide world over in my search for teachers true, And from the crowds of life’s lanes, I have selected you.

Now will you give him all your love, not think the labor vain, nor hate Me when I come to call to take him back again.



For all the joy this child shall bring, The risk of grief we’ll run.

We’ll shower him with tenderness and love him while we may, and for the happiness we’ve known, forever-grateful stay.

And should the angels call for him much sooner than we planned, we’ll brave the bitter grief that comes, and try to understand.

Mother's Day - May 14, 2006

Mother’s Day

A poem dedicated to my dear friends, Gilda and Fulvio Carbonaro, in honor of their loving son Alex

I remember Alex; from his very early days
He was his mother’s miracle in so many ways
All of her life she had prayed for a son
God granted her wish by giving her one

When I first laid eyes on him it was late afternoon
His mother had led me to the crib in his room
And there he laid quietly fast sleep
But soon he awoke from his slumber so deep

Beguiling were his eyes gazing upon me
I caressed his tiny body ever so gently
I played with his fingers; they rested in my hand
I was in awe of life’s renewal once again

Mother and son were united in joy
He became everything to her this amazing little boy
His life began to unfold before her very eyes
His first words, his first steps, each day a new surprise

The years passed by quickly disappearing in time
The next time I saw him he was already nine
His mother had come to visit me when I was ill
A thoughtful gesture that I remember still

I was surprised to see her especially with her son
He had grown up so quickly as the years had worn on
His mother’s hand rested gently on his shoulder
This beautiful infant now handsome and older!

His features and demeanor were still so much the same
He was a kindred spirit with whom I shared my name
Again the years passed quickly and the next thing I remember
It was a chilly Thursday in late November

The leaves had turned golden and fallen onto the ground
It was a Thanksgiving Holiday with family abound
The child turned adolescent was fully grown
He joined in the festivities in his new family home

In time he found his truest love and took her as his bride
Walking to the altar with his mother at his side
The bride and groom appeared happy together
But sadly this was not meant to last forever

The child turned man had chosen his career
To serve in the military for the next few years
He would be a Marine and pay service his country
Sworn to oath he performed his duty

The spring brought news of an encounter full of strife
This brave young Marine tragically lost his life
Dreams for his future and all that mattered
Lay in broken in pieces completely shattered

The loss of one’s child, the worst of a mother’s fears
The pain and sorrow, the agony and the tears
I cannot bring him back nor can time be put in reverse
I am powerless to change this not even with my verse

By sharing my thoughts I hope to recall
All the special moments and the memories all
So that one by one they will come to mind
Never to be erased in the memory of time

I will always remember Alex; for he was his mother’s son
Inextricably linked to her; his spirit lives on
Cherished by his friends who honor his memory
He will live forever in the hearts of all of his family


Alexandra Costa
May 14, 2006
Mother’s Day

Deployment to Iraq - 25 March 2006

Spring 2005

Wedding, May 28 2005

Wednesday, 10 May 2006

Friends,

Our dearest son Alex passed away at 10:30 this morning.

After many complications and surgical interventions, his mother Gilda, his wife Gildita, his mother-in-law Gigi and I spent the night with him, we held him in our arms until he exhaled his last breath.

We are all coming home soon. We’ll let you all know the details of the services as soon as the arrangements are finalized.

-fulvio

Tuesday, 9 May 2006

Today I was finally able to collect my thoughts and strength long enough to set up this blog.

Feel free to post your comments here. You can continue to send your emails directly if you prefer, I will add them here when I can unless you don't want me to. Please let me know in your email.

Monday, 8 May 2006

Friends,

Alex’s condition deteriorated last night.

We are at his bedside.

Our pain is unbearable but your calls and emails give us comfort and we share them with him.

Alex’s pop

Saturday, 6 May 2006

Friends,

We did not leave to BAMC yesterday Friday as one of Alex’s teammates developed complications and had to be operated.

We were scheduled to leave today Saturday but at about 7:00 am Alex developed some complications and he could not make the flight to San Antonio. The other three marines were able to go.

Alex had to undergo an operation and he is now stable again but still in very critical condition. If his situation improves the burn team will be back for him in a couple of days.

His mother Gilda, his wife Gilidita and Gigi his mother-in-law are now on route to Landstuhl to join us. They will be here early Sunday morning.

I am thankful to all for the outpouring of sympathy and support.

I apologize if some of you did not get the first email which I include below.

I tried to include as many of email addresses that I missed the first time but it is a long list and it is getting hard to manage. Just let me know if you did not get this directly from me and you want me to include you in the distribution list.

Thanks,

-fulvio & Alex

Thursday, 4 May 2006

Friends,

I am at the cybercafe in Landstuhl Regional Medical Center (LRMC) in Germany, the medical facility where US military personnel are transitioned when medevac-ed from “down-range”. I am able for the first time, in what feels like an eternity to pass on some details.

My son Alex and his recon team where in a Humvee at 21:30 on Monday May 1 on a patrol mission when and IED exploded into a fireball. He and two other team members were caught in the vehicle. They were eventually rescued and treated at field emergency medical facilities in Iraq until they reached LRMC on Wednesday at 8:30 am.

I was in Cairo on Tuesday afternoon when I heard the news. I was able to catch the first Lufthansa flight to Frankfurt and I arrived here not too long after him.

His injuries and those of his team members are all very serious second and third degree burns over 60% of the body. The LRMC medical staff here have worked miracles and have been able to stabilize them enough to allow them to be taken to San Antonio to the Brooke Army Medical Center, (BAMC) the premier military burn center. A specialized burn team of some 15 people was immediately flown from San Antonio on a specially equipped aircraft. They arrived here Wednesday afternoon and they treated all three patients plus another marine that just arrived today Thursday from another “incident” in Iraq, also with burn injuries. All four are being prepped to be flown tomorrow Friday on the flying ICU to BAMC. I will be going along.

Alex’s wife and his mother and other family members will meet us in San Antonio where we will get settled for the long run to be with him.

Alex and his team members are in stable but critical condition. The next few weeks will continue to be very critical due to the possibility of medical complications including infections. Upon arrival to BAMC they will proceed to operate on them to graft skin from other parts of their body and will continue to do so until the skin is regenerated. This is a very long process. Once we make it through the critical period the recovery will also take a very long time.

I want to thank all of you who have been helping us through this and have sent your best wishes. Wanted to provide some information to those that have asked, and wanted notify those who had not yet received the news.

I don’t know when I’ll get the next chance to answer emails or send another update but I will try at some point.

-fulvio